No one is its master.
Perhaps one can suppose that as individuals we merely practice love. As people hop in and out of relationships in search of love, it can certainly be said then that there is no one right way to behave in a relationship.
I would not want to tell you how to be in a relationship or conduct your life.
But while I acknowledge that no clear cut formula exists for a totally successful relationships has been paved, let me be clear in saying that there are approaches to relationships that I can absolutely and definitively file in the "dead wrong" department.
It creates great joy in my heart to see people who truly desire to be in committed relationships hopelessly and effortlessly in real love with people they have entrusted their hearts to.
As such, I have been struck by how frequently people are admitting that they remain in relationships not out of love but out of fear - fear that although they are not truly happy, that what they currently have just might be as good as it gets for them?
Some women remain with men who they are not excited about because they treat them well and have the ability to be great providers for their families.
Some men remain with insecure women who lack emotional maturity because they possess all the physical attributes that keep them visually and physically stimulated.
I have had women admit that there is not much compatibility between them and the man they’re dating, but say...
“But I’ve never had anyone treat me this well before.”
I have also had men admit that it is hard to get past their woman’s childish and insecure ways but say...
“But I’ve never had a woman who was on my level professionally and came in a package that looked like this before.”
These same men and women have been extremely apprehensive to walk away from relationships that really are not working because they are afraid that they may not be able to find the highly desirable traits they have in their partners with other people.
I certainly understand that there are those who come along and break the mould.
They are men and women who are "real" game changers, and once the game’s been changed, there really is no going back.
But ladies and gentlemen, you have to acknowledge that the mere fact that someone you find you are “attracted” too, does not always make them a great catch for you to be in a relationship with.
You can’t hold on to someone because they are the best you have had so far and you are afraid that you will not find someone comparable if you let them go.
Well, you can, but you probably should not.
Happiness is paramount, and if you are not truly happy with another…you cannot force it.
I trust that people can have whatever it is they think they can have.
If you think a person that you really should leave is the best you may ever have, it’s likely you will never have better.
But imagine what possibilities would exist if you would rather choose to think that if you had it once, you can have it again…and maybe even better?
Imagine who could come into your life if you would simply change your perspective?
Instead of having the attitude that you may be losing out on a good thing, use your experiences with this man or woman as proof that people like him or her do indeed exist and that they happen to be attracted to you.
Although your current relationship won’t last, you know now that a relationship with a man or woman who treats you extremely well is possible.
You can rest in that and move on with joyful anticipation of what is to come.
When you find the person who truly melts your heart, you have found that someone "special" to practice the sharing of your love with.
But, let’s agree right now that this whole staying in relationships because you are scared of the what-ifs business is not good for you and should be filed away in the dead wrong department I talked about earlier.
First of all in discussing relationships it is important to point out that relationships in their current form in modern society are not working. Statistics and from my own experience in this field of human behaviour show that out of every ten new marriages. 7 will fail within 10 years.
That means 70% of couples will divorce. It is a "huge" investment of your life that is going to be lost when you get it wrong!
Why is that happening?
Once you fall in love and get married or enter a civil partnership. You take the vow to honour and love each other forever, in sickness and in health. Even though we may truly hope for this at the time, the evidence is that fairy-tail marriages, in which a couple gets together and lives happy ever after is, are very rare.
Yet deep down many people still expect this to happen for them, and when it does not. Both men and women end up feeling deeply disappointed and hurt.
If on the other hand you are taught the reality of relationships and what it entails to build a real relationship with another human being. You would be better equipped to build and nurture "real," loving and intimate relationships with your lover or lovers.
Societies, cultures and religions have decreed that you marry or be in a relationship for love and that love should last a life time. This is a wonderful proposition and ideal. However because you as either a man or a woman are given little or no education on how to achieve this impossible ideal, you as a man or a woman are doomed to fail in trying to live up to this impossible ideal.
Also in modern relationship you are trying to do something with relationships that no previous society or culture has ever tried to do before.
The bringing together of Sex, Love, Relationship and Intimacy in such a sophisticated way before. Plus when you add all the demands of modern life and you are doing something that has not been done by Humanity before.
It is IMPORTANT to understand the impact of this - to understand that you as a man or woman are a pioneer, one of the first of Humankind to ever attempt to combine love, sex, relationship, career, lifestyle in such a way before.
With no REAL form of education and role models.
The old ways of society, culture and religions are not equipping you for the demands placed on you as an individual for modern life. No wonder so many men and women have difficulties. It's not simply to do with you or your partner's inadequacies.
It is a HUGE CHALLENGE and there is very little education on weaving together love, sexual passion, relationship, career, lifestyle and family in this constantly changing modern world that will last for a lifetime. That is why I LOVE the work I have been doing for the last 25 years with individuals and couples (same sex couples too).
Most individuals and couples do no look to this type of education until they have BIG troubles.
And yet "GENDER EDUCATION" and "EMOTION INTELLIGENCE" have become more CRUCIAL in this modern sophisticated World. More than "Intellectual Intelligence" alone.
Close, loving relationships provide the potential for the highest love-making possible. It is worth working on your self if you want to open up more possibilities in the area of relationships, love making and success in your life. The subject of relationships deserves many books, so I will not try to cover everything I have studied, experienced and taught in this area for many many years.
It is beautiful when you find someone that is in love with your mind, the essence of you. Someone who takes the time to undress and appreciate your conscience and make love with your thoughts. Someone that wants to help you slowly take down the walls you have built up around your heart and let them inside to share "intimacy" with you and you alone. To love all your vulnerabilities in embracing you.
What I teach in "Gender Education For Human Relationships" is foreign to most men and women. As soon as I mention the work involved to do with love, sex, intimacy and relationship. Most men and women bulk at the REAL work and learning they have to do on themselves. And yet those men and women who do choose to work with me, find themselves on an amazing journey of personal self discovery and awareness that builds their self confidence and success in their relationships.
I genuinely think that most men and women are wanting to end the "battle of the sexes" and enter into joint journeys of personal growth and sexual, emotional personal fulfilment. Be it "spiritual" or "material," men and women are genuinely wanting to share "intimacy" with each other on equal terms.
I observe, both social and culturally that we are entering what you could call the "we generation" that is growing after the "me generation" that has been going on for the past decades. I see this happening on a global level, the evidence is everywhere. I also experience it from my clients who come from all over the world.
You need all the education and awareness you can get to make your relationships work in this ever increasing "high pressure" lifestyle so many men and women are living these days at all levels.
That is WHY possessing Solid Confidence and RELATIONSHIP AWARENESS really does make a BIG difference to your life.
It makes a difference to your own personal development, dating, relationships, sex, plus all other areas of your life.
Like your career, social standing, health and fitness.
I don't know if this is the right option for you now?
But I do know you deserve to become such a Man or Woman who is Confident, Attractive and Desirable to others."
I loved our session and feel very grateful that you sat with me that long. I also appreciate the validation. I needed that. Pleasure was all mine! Thank goodness you are very legit, practical, and methodical in your coaching and not a cheesy fluff master."